Happy Birthday Mom

Today is my Mom's birthday. She doesn't have a blog, or even own a computer. I must admit that when I saw her log in at work to play bejeweled I was in shock. If I hadn't seen it with my own eyes, I'm pretty sure I wouldn't have believed it. Her lack of computer skills are on a very short list of shortcommings. keep in  mind that i am talking about my Mom, I may be a little biased, but just slightly.

My Mom is not the typical Mom. She didn't teach me to read, or ride a bike. She never fixed my hair, or walked me to school. She and i never had the "typical" teenager vs. Mom battles. I can't remember ever having a serious argument. (that's not to say we don't have our disagreements)

I am just now realizing how much she loves me. The more life throws at me, the more I turn to her. I was always hesitant talking to her about any of my troubles when I was younger. Don't get me wrong, Mom was a great listener, but as a single Mom that worked full time while trying to keep us kids intact she wasn't the most sensitive in her replies. It wasn't that she didn't care, but she never sugar coated the fact that whatever we were facing in that moment wouldn't be the hardest thing we would face in our lifetime. She had a not so gentle way of snapping us back into reality. Looking back, I'm thankful for her approach.

Growing up I would catch myself wishing I had Carol Brady for a Mother, those moments never lasted long. While Mrs. Brady taught her girls the importance of solving life's greatest challenges in 30 minutes, my Mom taught me things that I will never forget.

The sacrifices Mom made for us were and still are great. She has yet to give up on any of us kids. Everything that is good, kind and generous in us, is because of her. She has always helped those who needed it, even when she needed it so much more. I don't know how she did it. Not only did she do it, she did it alone and without hesitation. She filled the role of both parents as best she could. I never her saw her cry, even at her most vulnerable. Her head was always held up, if she ever felt sad or sorry I never knew it.

My Mom has finally found someone that treats her well. Someone that sees just how amazing she truly is. I always thought of my Mom as a happy person, that said I have NEVER seen her happier. I tease her about it, just a little. I feel like I wouldn't be doing my daughterly duties if I didn't razz her just a bit. The truth is, I have never seen her face light up the way it does when he walks in for family dinner. We as a family are alot to take in, and he not only puts up with us, he keeps coming back for more.


I am thankful for my Mom. There hasn't been any hardship she hasn't faced with a smile, and a good joke. She has been threw a lot, and comes back with a smile every time. I have never heard her say she is afraid. When she told me about her health a few years ago, I cried and SHE told me a joke! When she told me about her brain tumors a few months ago I cried again, and she said that she was thankful for anything that would fill the empty space up there! I know her humor is her way of coping. I have often heard her say that she isn't fearful because she is faithful.

Although my Mom isn't perfect in many areas, I know she is perfect as MY Mom. I wouldn't trade her for the world. Mom and I have differing opinions in many fields from politics to soda pop. But, if i can be half the woman she is when I blow out the last candle on my birthday cake I will have nothing left to wish for.

Count your many blessings

Since the beginging of November I tried to make it a point to count my blessings every night before falling asleep. I thought that as the number of nights increased, I would find some repeats in my blessing counting. It was not the case, I found I had a number of new blessings each night. To be fair, there were a few people I was thankful for over and over, but for each time they were counted I was thankful for them for a different reason.

Within a week, I found an increased notice in the small things. When the second week rolled around, I was humbled greatly. The third week has just finished, and I am still finding NEW things that I am grateful for. Now entering the fourth week I have questioned how I could ever feel down, or with a heavy heart. It is often easier to see the things that aren't, rather than the things that are.

My only regret this month is that I didn't take the time to write down each blessing, and why I am grateful for it. With that said, here are  few things that have made my list of things I am grateful for, in no particular order.
I am thankful for My husband, for countless things he does for myself and our family. I am thankful for Lilly, I don't think I have ever laughed as hard or smiled as much in my life as I have since she was born. I am thankful for the questions she asks, and the genuine statements she makes. I am thankful for my Mom. She has taught me more than she will ever know. I am grateful for my Nana. I am thankful for all the times she made me sit still so she could fix my hair everyday for school. I'm thankful for the tender heart that she is and for the patience she showed me when I was growing up. I am thankful for my brothers. I am thankful they loved me enough to want to protect me from everything and everybody. I am thankful for Sean for always playing little people with me when we were little, and for our late night drives when we got older. I am grateful for Tyson and his quick wit. I am even thankful for slurpees. Without them my brother's and I would have never made the walks to 7-11 to get them. I will never forget those walks to sev. My brothers became my closest friends and ali's on those walks. I am grateful for Justin. I am grateful he married my sister, and has taken such good care of her, and my family. I am thankful for all the times he walked me to kindergarten, and all the kind things he does for my Mom and Nana. I am thankful for Dave's family. They are all amazing, and for the last 4 years I have never felt more loved or more apart of a family. I am thankkful for Mom and Dad Maloney and their example of marriage. I am thankful for Jenny and Chris, they get my sarcasm and don't judge me for it. I am thankful for Jonny and Hailey, and for their love and friendship. I am very grateful for Jeff. He is without a doubt the most confident, and imaginative person I have ever met. I am thankful for my friends. I am thankful for the friends I see on a weekly basis, for the friends I talk to daily, and the friends I go months without seeing. I often think the only thing my friends have in common is me, and I am grateful for that. I am thankful for my sister Lilly. I am thankful for the 20 phone calls she picks up from  me each day. I am grateful for her friendship, for her honesty, and for the example she is. I have never known a harder worker, or a kinder person. I am even grateful for every hardship I have ever faced. I am thankful for them because they make each of these blessings seem so much greater.

I have so much to be grateful for, I am especially grateful for this little reminder of all the things that are going right in my life.

The big 3, well almost

I cannot believe it has been exactly 35 months since Lilly Louise was born. I don't remeber my life without her, and at the same time it feels like it was just yesterday I was pretending to be brave while checking into labor and delivery. These last 35 months have been some of the best and hardest times of my life to date. I am not a fan of doing things that I do not excel in. When Dave and I found out that we were pregnant after only 5 months of marriage, we were happy and scared to put it simply. With pregnancy I knew that I would recieve a flood of unsolicited advice from all the women in my life.

When I was told I would need to be put on bed rest early in my pregnancy, I felt instant failure creep through my body. I remember feeling like I was not good at being a Mom before Lilly was even in my arms. The advice that I had not asked for began to increase. After a lengthy labor and an emergancy C-section I had my Lilly in my arms. I felt a joy that I had never felt before. After 5 days we were headed home, to what I knew would be hard but I had no idea the size of the mountain I would be climbing. More advice rang in my ears, and I felt like I had already failed as a mother.

What I learned between the first 2 weeks and the big mile stone of Lilly's 1st birthday was that I COULD do it, and no amount of babysitting, playing house, or reading could have prepared me for what being a mother truly meant. I learned that all that unsolicited advice was out of love, that all the women in my life loved me more than I knew. I learned that being a mom makes you part of a special group of women that are nothing short of amazing. I know that the struggles of motherhood are never over, and now that the few struggles of early motherhood are behind me, I'm glad there will be many more. These last 35 months had darkness that was turned into sunshine with her smile. Sadness that never lasted long because of a slobery kiss.

I hope that these next years will be as wonderful and struggle filled as these lst few years have been. I love my life, because I love my family.

Theme

Since my first, and only post, a few people have asked what the theme of my blog is. I have yet to decide. I figured I would blog about my life, although the theme of my life is ever changing. Sometimes i am the goofy, laugh so hard it hurts life of the party, other times I am the sounding board of a frustrated friend, I am pleased and blessed to play the role of Mom and wife each day, sometimes I'm just an employee both at home and work, and other I feel like i call all the shots. Each Sunday my theme is "flustered mother" when Lilly decides she has had enough in Sacrament meeting, followed by primary teacher learning more than the kids. At times I am I enjoy the role of child in an ever changing sea of siblings. I am the little sister that speaks her mind although not always appreciated. In all of these roles there is happiness, even if it isn't immediate, it's there. Sometimes that happiness is clouded temporarily with doubt, or fear. I'm not always certain of the role I will play after I hit the snooze button each day, nor do I ever try to predict how each day will go. But, I do know that most days are happy. More often than not my life theme is happiness.

Finally!

After almost 4 years of marriage and a baby later I figured it was time to jump on the blog bandwagon! I am very excited to do so, but I must say i am not as well written as I once was. I am truly hoping to rekindle my once great love affair with writing.

Not sure what the standard for the first blog is? I guess I will jump right in, and let the adventure that is blogging begin! In August Dave and I will be celebrating our 4 year anniversary, hard to believe! It seems like so much has happened in such a small amount of time. Lets do a quick recap of our little life journey together: moved 4 times, were blessed with little bean, welcomed 2 soon to be 3 cousin's for Lilly, between the 2 of us held 10 different jobs, had 2 cars blow up, spilt many a milkshake, finally got our honeymoon, stayed up til the sun came up talking, laughed so hard we cried too many times to count, spent countless hours in the hospital, rocked a sick baby to sleep, woke a sleeping baby just to hold her and smell her new baby smell . Shed some happy tears when that little baby sat up, took her first steps, and said "I love you." We are so blessed to have had all these experiences, and even more blessed to have had all the blessings in disguise that make us appreciate these blessings. Okay, this concludes my first blog post. More to come, hopefully!